REVIEW: 'Starting from Scratch' by Jay Northcote
Title: Starting from Scratch
Series: Housemates #5
Author: Jay Northcote
Published: April 10, 2017
Publisher: Self-Published/Jaybird Press
Genre: Contemporary Romance; Erotic Romance; New Adult
Length: 249 Pages
Tags: Gay; M/M; Transgender; Comfort/Hurt; First Time; College; HEA
About Starting from Scratch
Starting over isn’t easy, but Ben is ready to live his life as the man he was always meant to be.
Ben is transgender and back at university after hormone treatment and chest surgery. His new housemates have no idea about his history and Ben would prefer to keep it that way. He’s starting from scratch and his life is finally on track, except in the romance department. The idea of dating guys as a guy is exhilarating but terrifying, because if Ben wants a boyfriend he’ll have to disclose his secret.
Sid is drawn to Ben from the moment they meet. He normally gets what he wants—in the short term at least. Ben’s guarded at first, and Sid’s not used to guys rejecting his advances. He eventually charms his way through Ben’s defences and helps Ben on his journey of sexual awakening.
It doesn’t matter to Sid that Ben is trans. He’s attracted to the whole person, and isn’t worried about what is—or isn’t—in Ben’s pants. They’re good together, and both of them are falling hard and fast, but Ben’s insecurities keep getting in the way. If Sid can convince Ben he's committed, will Ben finally be able to put his heart on the line?
Although this book is part of the Housemates series, it has new main characters, a satisfying happy ending, and can be read as a standalone.
4 HEART READ
REVIEW: Jay Northcote’s Starting from Scratch superbly depicts one man’s identity, reconstituting after female to male transition. This gently satisfying standalone romance in the Housemates series, portrays the myriad of character adjustments.
After his decision to change sexes waylaid Ben’s earlier start to university, Ben is on his second attempt. Older than regular students, he lives off-campus in a house with other gay men. He’s remained isolated, however, fearful to reveal his transsexual status to roommates.
But he’s promised his mother he’d attempt to make friends. “Her concerns only made him feel guilty for being different. If she’d had a less complicated kid, maybe her life would be easier.” Such poignant observations help readers understand Ben’s pressures.
Jude, a housemate, introduces Ben to his ex-boyfriend, Sid, and realizes Ben has developed a crush. Shortly after, Jude walks in on Ben showering and sees why Ben has kept apart. “Look, man,” Jude said, “If you’ve got the balls to transition and have surgery and shit like that, then surely you’ve got the balls to be honest with someone you like.”
Ben’s take away? “Jude was right. But Ben had been through this enough times in his own head, and hearing someone else say it didn’t help. What did help, though, was Jude’s instant acceptance…. little things, like calling him ‘man’ without a second thought.” Such “internalized transphobia,” as Northcote accurately labels it, takes the normal insecurities of young adults and touchingly shows how they magnify for transsexuals.
None of Sid’s many hook-ups have been as satisfying as his conversations with Ben. Luckily, when Ben finally tells Sid his status, “Something in Sid’s chest ached for him. It must be so fucking hard having to lay yourself open like that. Sid knew what a cutthroat world hooking up and dating could be.” Can Ben and Sid cement their romance?
By wisely writing characters who welcome Ben, Northcote can focus on everyday interpersonal stresses. And in so doing, he establishes the universality of people’s insecurities, even while highlighting the differences.
“In the middle of the night he didn't have the resources to drive (his anxieties and insecurities) away.”
Readers identify with Ben, even as we acknowledge his special struggle.
“Ben couldn’t help thinking that Sid would like him better if he was cis (gender-consonant) – if he was normal.” Northcote might have written “taller, smarter,” or any other feature which could leave Ben, “underlaid by a jagged edge of envy for what his housemates had.” Beautiful phrasing certainly heightens the novel’s appeal.
On the other hand, there’s the obvious dissimilarity in Ben’s maturation. "People always wanted to know what you had between your legs.” As a reader, I’m guilty as charged. Northcote gives specific details of physical and psychological concomitants involved in owning one’s manhood.
Here one of many small details I wouldn’t have considered. “Ben somehow ended up as the big spoon, which made him feel good.” Sid and Ben’s attraction sizzles as much as any couple’s.
Like many insecure people, Ben comes to appreciate his body through Sid’s acceptance. When Sid gives Ben a compliment, despite the anatomical difference, “shame and discomfort melted away like a dirty lump of ice in winter…. You made me feel…good, right? You made me feel like a man. I mean, I am a man. But sometimes my masculinity is still pretty fragile.” I thought of the old adage: Intimacy = “into me I see.”
A gifted writer, Northcote entertained, educated, gave me room to examine my convictions, and elucidated the courage required to embrace one’s truest self.
Starting from Scratch is an important addition to the genre.
A copy of Starting from Scratch was won by the Contributor with no expectations in return. Kimmers’ Erotic Book Banter offers our fair and honest opinion on behalf of our readers.
Amazon/KU
Meet the Author
Jay lives just outside Bristol in the West of England. He comes from a family of writers, but always used to believe that the gene for fiction writing had passed him by. He spent years only ever writing emails, articles, or website content.
One day, Jay decided to try and write a short story—just to see if he could—and found it rather addictive. He hasn’t stopped writing since.
Jay writes contemporary romance about men who fall in love with other men. He has five books published by Dreamspinner Press, and also self-publishes under the imprint Jaybird Press. Many of his books are now available as audiobooks.
Jay is transgender and was formerly known as she/her.
For more from Jay be sure and visit his website.
